An Evening with Oprah

In my last blog I shared my exciting news that my family surprised me with an early birthday and Mother’s day gift – two tickets to see Oprah at Copps Coliseum in Hamilton.  I did not have the opportunity to ask my question, but the exercise of thinking about it was beneficial.   I am now going to find a way to ask it anyway.

My sister and I left inspired and I am excited to share with you my biggest take away(s).  Even though most of what Oprah said was not new to me, it was a great reminder to get and stay connected to who you are.  I have watched her shows for the past 25 years and have learned a lot from them.  This evening was a great reminder for me to re-connect to the things that are most important in my life.

For those of you in a leadership role and want to become a more inspiring leader this tip is for you!  Oprah shared that whenever she does interviews for her life class show everyone asks her the same question after the interview is over.  Famous people like Obama, Steven Tyler, Bon Jovi and others all ask “How did I do?”  or “Did I do OK.”  This confirmed for Oprah (and me as well) that each of us as human beings want to be acknowledged and know we did a good job.  Oprah shared that all humans want three simple things: to be heard (to know that they were really listened to), to be acknowledged (this is our deepest need as a human) and to make a difference (to know that our life matters).  Do these three things as a leader and you have the tools to build a powerful team.

This confirmed what I have read about effective leadership, to acknowledge and listen to your employees is more powerful than more money.  It seems like a small thing but it is one of the most powerful leadership qualities. 

Another question Oprah asked was “Who Are You?”   Not your job, your roles or responsibilities but who are you?  She shared that for as long as she can remember she is the Whisper of God (or Universe or whatever higher power you believe in, or not).  This is who she is, not what she does. She does many things.  I have been thinking about this for myself since Saturday and have spoken with a few of my friends and colleagues.  For me I am a “connector” in every area of my life.  I can see it and feel it.  What about you, who are you?  There is a trend now for leaders to “brand” themselves and this is in alignment with this.

Oprah also shared about the importance of being present.  We hear it all the time “Be Here Now.”  If you want to be a more powerful leader in your life, whether it is exercising self leadership or leading others it is critical to be present.  Learning techniques such as meditation will help you be more connected and in the moment will also help you further develop as an inspiring leader.  She also shared the importance of an attitude of gratitude.  We have so much to be thankful for and often we take things for granted.  Take the time each day to either journal or verbalize the things you are grateful for. 

I taped the show and once I listen to it I will share other insights in future blogs.  Whether you like Oprah or not, her life lessons and the life lessons of her guests can be applied to everyone.

Everyone is in Customer Service

by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

We are all in customer service.  It doesn’t matter what position you hold within an organization you can affect the customer experience.  Often it is an indirect impact, but you can affect the overall experience just the same.  Since we start the Athena Alliance we have had many situations where we provided customer service training to internal departments.  A recent example of this was a service company who was having difficulties between the various departments and the finance department.  The finance personnel didn’t realize the impact they were having on the other departments ability to service the customer in a timely manner.  After the training, things improved drastically.

Everyone in an organization should have customer service excellence as a focus. Customers have many choices these days and depending on your industry they can move their business without too much difficulty.  In sales we always talk about the importance of building rapport and trust. It is equally, if not more important when it comes to the service we provide our clients.  Without our customers we have no business. Everyone needs to understand this!

I am sure I am no different than anyone reading this blog and have come to expect the employees of the companies I deal with to treat me with respect – all the time, not once in awhile. I have read many stories over the years about how some hotels have empowered their people to “go the extra mile” when needed.  Companies that adopt this philosophy don’t make excuses, pass the buck or point fingers when a customer calls to complain.  Their staff does what it takes to WOW their customers.  This doesn’t mean you will do everything your customer asks (especially if it doesn’t make good business sense for your organization), but it does mean the customer has the experience of being heard and respected. It is extremely important to tell the truth even if it isn’t what the customer wants to hear.  I have had the experience where I have literally had to chase a customer service person for three weeks only to find out they couldn’t help me.  What a waste of time and energy.  I would never consider doing business with them again.  I would have stayed their customer if they had said right from the beginning it wasn’t something they did.  I could have gone elsewhere and still felt OK to continue with them.

Take a minute now and close your eyes.  Think about an exceptional customer experience you have had in the past.  What made it so special?  Do your customers experience service like that from your company? If not, what has to change?  Who needs to be involved to make the change?

How often do you ask your customers about their experience?

One of my personal pet peeves (maybe because I am a boomer) is when everything is automated, when there is no phone number to call in the event I have a problem. Sometimes the phone number is so buried on the website it is next to impossible to find.  I say put it front and center!

I have listed three keys to delivering exceptional customer service every time!

1. Learn what can be a hindrance to good service first.  Are there systems or policies and procedures that affect the ability of the customer service rep to perform at their peak?
2. Ensure everyone has adequate training.  Make sure your employees know how to handle difficult situations, upset or irate customers.  This is critical when the emotions are high.
3. Have aone-touch approach. What I mean by this is when a customer calls, that as much as possible they are not passed from one department to another.  It can happen of course from time to time but it should be the exception not the norm.

The old saying “treat people the way you want to be treated” may not apply anymore.  The newer version of “treat people the way THEY want to be treated” is the better approach.

Remember your customers are your best advertising, make them brag about you!

What would your question be?  by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

I love surprising people and being surprised.  I got a text from my oldest son Clinton this past week asking me to come out to his house on Saturday for lunch.  I was a little hesitant as I had already made a commitment for later that day. I agreed advising that I had to leave by 3:00 pm.  When I arrived there was flurry of activity with people painting, sanding and hanging cupboard doors.  (They are prepping their house for sale).   After greeting everyone, I wondered why he wanted me there at that time.  A few minutes later my four grandchildren came running up from the basement, giving me lots of hugs (one of the many perks of being a grandma). 

Clinton asked me to sit in a particular chair, which I promptly did.  My daughter-in-law had her iPhone ready to take pictures, I knew something big was coming.  With my two sons, two daughters-in-law and four grandchildren gathered in front of  I was told to reach under my chair there was something taped to the bottom of the seat for me.

I reached under the chair and found 8 ½” x11 “sheets of paper folded in half.  I removed them and when I opened the pages, I was totally and completely surprised!  I couldn’t believe I was reading what I saw on the front page, a picture of the woman that has motivated me personally over the years.  It was Oprah Winfrey. 

I had two tickets to see Oprah the following weekend.  OMG!  My family knows how much I love her and have held her as mentor and inspiration in my own life. It was so clever of them to put the surprise under the seat the same way Oprah did on her show.  I called my sister right away to tell her she was coming with me. The most amazing part of being able to spend an evening listening to her share her stories and insights, is there is a question and answer period at the end.  We get to ask her a question.  On the drive home my mind started racing, what should I ask?  Should I ask a personal question, a business question or something deeply spiritual?

My question to you; what question would you ask if you had the opportunity to ask your most trusted and respected leader?

If you had the opportunity to speak with Oprah, the Dali Lama, President Obama or an inspiring thought leader, what would you ask?

I have changed my mind several times since I started to ponder my “question” and it may change by next week.  For today my question is “I am co-writing a business book for entrepreneurs and how would I get you to read and endorse it?”

I will let you know how it goes next session and the question I asked.  In the meantime think about your own question and who you would ask.  Then ask yourself “How can I make this happen?”

What Difference Does it Make Anyway?

by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

Experts tell us that when we meet someone new they assess us in the first seven seconds.  Not a lot of time to make a great first impression.  First impression blunders can be avoided with preparation.  Although it only takes seven seconds to make a great first impression, that impression can be undone just as quickly if who you are after the meeting is not congruent with who you present yourself to be.

Savvy business people can usually detect when something doesn’t quite fit.  You may impress a client, boss or potential employer with a dazzling presentation, but if you are not able to deliver after the initial meeting, the positive first impression will be lost. In fact it can have a very negative impact on future interactions. Integrity and authenticity are your biggest assets.  The ten minutes following the initial meeting can deepen the connection significantly.

Be professional in all business situations. Your reputation is very important to creating long term trusted relationships.  Here are six tips on creating and maintaining a positive first impression:

1. Have a friend or colleague provide a personal introduction whenever possible.  This will help build credibility even before the meeting.  A personal introduction can greatly increase your chances of a successful connection, no matter the reason for the introduction in the first place.

    

2. Take the time to learn about the person/people/organization you are going to meet with.  With the easy access to information on people and organizations through the internet and social media, do your homework and find out as much as you can about them before the meeting.

    

3. Be sure you have a clear objective for the meeting.  Let the other person know the purpose of the meeting.  This will help guide the conversation and keep the questions in line with your objective.  No surprises.

    

4. Be confident and knowledgeable without appearing a braggart.   Professionals expect other professionals to be knowledgeable without being a know it all. Asking questions and sharing will build rapport more quickly than a long dissertation about what you know.

    

5. Do your homework and dress appropriately for the occasion. This might seem obvious but often it is ignored.  Your normal business casual attire may not fit in all environments.  Check first.

    

6. Be punctual, use good manners and smile.  Being on time says a lot about who you are and how you live your live. It is absolutely imperative if you are to make a great first impression.  Always say please and thank you, sounds obvious and again not always done.  A smiling face is more appealing and easier for a new person to connect with.  Show your pearly whites!

Sales Coaching for Accelerated Results

by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

Coaching is about change. Change comes from a dream of something better.  Coaching engages your imagination and at the same time is immensely practical in the real world.

When we dream we use our imagination, we soar beyond the confines of our lives into a wider world where many things are possible and we are not restricted to the cards we have been dealt.  We are free to take any wild card and transform our hand.  Dreams take us beyond ourselves.  Every change in our life starts as a dream, We use our imagination to project ourselves into the best of all futures.

What is Sales Coaching?

Coaching is about giving salespeople the opportunity to generate their own insights, solutions and possibilities that will have them drive their results.  It is an advise free conversation and process of discovery.  Coaching is based on the belief that the question is the answer. Coaching is a process of inquiry that is interactive and collaborative.  Coaching builds accountability when it is performed in a safe environment for people to honour their commitments.

Coaching helps tap into a person’s unused strengths and talents that advances their personal growth and learning.  Coaching helps people discover their personal best.

Effective sales coaching is a co-creation without attachment and wanting more for your sales people than they want for themselves.  Coaching is about the sales person not the coach. If you find yourself thinking about or using the word “I” a lot while you are coaching – it has become about you.  Sometimes new coaches make it about themselves and wanting to “do it right.”

Often new coaches are so committed to providing results they give the person the answers prematurely.  Give the sales person the space they need to arrive at their own conclusion.  Sometimes just listening is a powerful coaching process and may be all that is needed. Providing a safe place during a coaching session where the sales person can talk freely and openly without feeling vulnerable is one of the most powerful coaching strategies.

Coaching salespeople is about what they want for themselves more that what you want for them.  People unintentionally lie to themselves and believe the lies to be true. 

Sometimes people are afraid to admit they don’t have the skills. Good coaches need to constantly gauge the resistance level, if pushed too hard salespeople will either shutdown or push back.

Finding out what the salesperson’s expectations are from the coaching, the value they expect and how they would like to be coached will greatly impact the results.

Once the sales manager takes full accountability for themselves as well as their team members, they will then be able to empower others to be fully accountable for themselves.

Making your people right, even when they are wrong makes a huge impact on their productivity and attitudes.  To see the rightness in salespeople, you must believe that people are doing the best they can at any given moment.  If their best doesn’t meet your standards, you always have the choice to make changes.

Managers may think they don’t always have time to coach their salespeople, but think about the things that are taking you away from coaching and meeting with your salespeople in the first place.  Many of the issues and problems that need to be dealt with are often actually a result of not coaching and connecting with our salespeople.

Coaching is about having the salespeople grow on their own.  Questions broaden their peripheral vision so they can best respond to the events or things that are coming at the.  Ask your salespeople how they want to be coached. Three fundamental rules of sales coaching:

1. Let your salespeople do all the work.
2. Let your salespeople do all the work.
3. See rules one and two and let your salespeople do all the work.

“Inspired” Leadership
by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

 “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” 

By Ralph Waldo Emerson

Definition from Dictionary.com

in·spired [in-spahyuh rd] Show IPA, adjective

1. aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence: an inspired poet.
2. resulting from such inspiration: an inspired poem; an inspired plan.
3. inhaled: inspired air.

Can you think of someone who has inspired you? Was it a teacher, parent, friend or leader in your organization or community?  What were the qualities that this person demonstrated that connected you to them?  Do you exhibit these qualities yourself?

 When I deliver my sales or presentation skills programs, participants often tell me I am inspiring. I simply tell them I love what I do and love watching others grow and that inspires me.  They in turn they get inspired as well.  I think this is a critical component when inspiring others to action.  When you are engaged in activities you love to do, you generate a more positive energy and people can connect to that.  I think much like laughter is contagious so is inspiration.  If you are a leader you want people to be inspired by your vision and connect to make the vision a reality.

 At times when things don’t go as planned, others watch to see how you handle these challenges.  You can inspire others by the integrity, attitude and actions you take in difficult times.  It is easy to be inspiring and passionate when things are going well, it is when things derail is when leaders need to “walk the inspired talk” or “practice what you preach.”  Inspired leadership means being willing to express your passion and excitement.  We are naturally curious and when you share openly personal triumphs and challenges it engages people.  Be curious about employee’s passions and what inspires them as well.  Be open to provide them guidance. It is impossible to inspire others if you are not inspired yourself. It goes without saying inspired leadership requires consistent, positive attitudes and actions.  When failures or setbacks occur, be prepared to review with an open mind and no judgement.  People need to feel safe to step up and take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and inspired leaders create a space where employees can grow.

 Here are five tips on how to inspire others:

1. Be Compassionate – put others success ahead of your own. People feel inspired when they know you are pulling for them!
2. Be the Change – others are truly inspired when they see a leader being vulnerable and asking for support. This will endear employees to a leader versus someone who sends the message that they have no weaknesses
3. See the potential and believe in others: I love this quote by Mark Twain it pretty much sums it up perfectly “Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.”
4. Accept others without wanting to fix them – this simply doesn’t work and it won’t inspire anyone.  As a coach I have experienced many clients who want to “fix” one of their employees. It isn’t until they are able to accept the employee the way they are and the way they are not, that they can begin to inspire change and address their areas for growth.
5. Just Be Great – a few years ago I create a very short exercise where I had participants create Just Be Great cards for themselves.  They were to create an acronym that was personal to them using the letters GREAT. It was a huge hit.

The GREAT acronym I created for myself was:

G – gracious and grateful
R – respectful of others
E – engaged and empathic
A – acknowledge others freely
T – tenacious

When I am being all these things I know I am being great for others. 

Take a minute now and create your own acronym for the word GREAT and the next time you have a challenging situation, use it and say to yourself “Just Be Great!”

Timeless in Sales

by Cindy Stradling

For many decades sales people were taught to create and deliver persuasive presentations that were often called “pitches.”  Sales training programs taught many closing techniques and would repeat the mantra – the ABC’s of selling = Always Be Closing.  Those days are gone and effective sales people of the 21^st century involve a much more collaborative approach.  This approach includes focusing on the customer’s needs versus the old days of using manipulative tactics to close the sale so the sales person could meet their sales targets, regardless if it was a good fit for the customer.  I never sold like this, it simply didn’t fit with my personal values.

Like everything else in our society today, sales is evolving and changing.  Clients want to work with suppliers who are aligned with their values.  They want trusted advisors and organizations who are interested in win-win partnerships.

I have been in sales for 20+ years and I have noticed many differences and yet there are some things that have never changed.  People buy from people they trust and like, that has been my reality since my first cold call.  People want to know they can count on their salespeople to keep them informed and provide them with the best solutions possible.  I am pleasantly persistent when it comes to follow up and staying touch with both clients and prospective clients.  I think this is one of the keys to success in the long run.  Customers have told me the reason I won their business because I never went away when things got delayed or they were not ready to buy.  Often sales people will give up too soon. 

Good salespeople will always qualify a prospective client before starting to prospect them as a possible customer.  Effective selling involves asking great questions versus the “gift of the gab” approach of the sales people of the past.  Another thing that is never changed, in my opinion, is customers expect salespeople to be professional in their approach to business.  Although the business attire in some industries is more business casual than in the past, the sales person still needs to be professional.  They need to be punctual, respectful, articulate themselves well and listen intently to the needs of their customers. 

There are many new and different ways to meet and connect with potential clients today.   Social media has opened up many doors that would not have been accessible in the past.  A few of the younger salespeople I have spoken with do not use any other method than social media.  Seasoned sales people like myself need to incorporate social media as part of our business development strategy.  I still do cold calls and prospecting like I have since the beginning and for me it still works.  I have also started to work with LinkedIn as part of my business development strategies.  I challenged one of my students who didn’t believe in cold calling to give it a try, since she had never done it before.  We talked about what she would say and who she would call.  She reported back to me that it was easier than she thought and that the few people she did speak to her, didn’t yell at her (like she thought they would) and they were all very professional and one person asked her to call back in a few weeks that she was interested in speaking with her when she got back from her vacation.  She now incorporates cold calling as part of her business development strategy.

So what is my point to all this?  It is simply to say that some things are timeless in sales no matter what method(s) you use for prospecting and business development.

• Professionalism
• Persistent
• Great listening skills
• Collaboration for a win-win
• Authenticity and honesty

Does Your Verbal and Non Verbal Communication Jive?

by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

We all know that we communicate both verbally and non verbally.  Even when we are not talking, we are communicating with our bodies.  This includes our gestures, eye contact, facial expressions and even how we are standing/sitting (posture).

Have you ever had the experience when someone was telling you something and there was something “kind of off” or you weren’t quite sure why but you didn’t connect with their message.  Often this is because our non-verbal communication actually speaks louder than the words we use.

According to Albert Mehrabian, best known for his publications on the relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages,  he stated that  7% of our communication is the words we use, 38% is based on the tone of our voice and the remaining  55% is our non verbal communication.  We cannot fake our non verbal communication and when there is a disconnect in messaging, the listener will more often than not will believe the non verbal.

I can remember my first management job where the Purchasing agent reported to me.  She would often leave my office looking confused and frustrated.  I thought she was just going through something in her personal life and really didn’t think too much of it.  One day she came into my office and presented me with her resignation, I was shocked.  I thought she was doing a great job and I thought we got along well.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  She explained that she couldn’t work for me anymore because the words I used communicated that she could take her time to finish projects but my tone and body language communicated that I wanted it done NOW!  She said she actually felt like I was screaming at her.  That was a big eye opener for me as I wasn’t aware of the mixed messages I was sending her.  From then on I was very careful to make sure what I was communicating both non verbally and verbally was what I wanted to say.  This was no easy task as we do so much of our non verbal unconsciously.  I did some research on the topic and found out very quickly I was not alone, many people have faced this same challenge.  I learned that how others perceive and respect you has a lot to do with your non verbal skills, not just when you are giving a presentation, but how you communicate every day.

One of the ways to manage your non verbal communication is to learn to manage your stress levels.  If you have to communicate with someone when you are really stressed out, it is best to take a break first.   Because our emotions control our non verbal language you can actually send a mixed or confusing message to your listener when you are stressed.   One of the recommendations is to develop your emotional awareness.  By being tuned into your own emotional state, it will help you accurately read others body language, respond appropriately showing you are listening and create trust by sending congruent messages. 

Here are a few tips to evaluate non verbal communication:

• Tone of Voice – how intense is it?  Is it warm?  Does the person sound strained or confident? Is there care or concern in their voice?
• Eye Contact – is the amount of eye contact comfortable or does it feel intense?
• Posture – how are the standing/sitting?  Do they look relaxed or uptight and stiff?
• Timing – does the conversation flow easily and do the non verbal cues support the flow?

The one thing I have learned over the years is to trust my instincts when it comes to listening to whole person.  If my instincts tell me something is not quite right I believe them.

I recommend doing your own emotional awareness assessment to make sure when you communicate your message will be heard, understood and believed.

Building Amazing Teams

by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

Through all the research I have done and in my personal experience I have found there are many factors required to build amazing teams.  The key one is communication, which is really not surprising because it is the key to any great relationship, whether in a personal or professional context. 

Often when I speak to clients about their particular situation when they are looking at having a team development session delivered, they frequently want the same results.  They want their teams to develop more cohesive, a new level of respect for each other’s differences and a bond of trust that allows for open and authentic communication.  There are many ways to design programs and exercises that can create these outcomes. 

The most important step is to tie the outcomes of any training initiative to the company’s mission and vision.  By doing this, it gives people the tools and skills to learn to walk the talk and everyone is working for a common goal.  When leaders clearly define what they want to create with their team, there is a higher likelihood that the learning will transfer back to the work place. 

Effective leaders know that building an amazing team something that needs to be worked at everyday, not just when they are engaged in team building activities.

Here are my recommendations to building an amazing team:

• Team members have a clear understanding of their role on a team and they understand what is expected of them
• They have Team Operating Agreement (or sometimes called a Code of Conduct) – this is an agreed upon set of rules on how the team members will interact and communicate with each other.
• Team members are empowered to make some of their own decisions (this is of course once they have the adequate training, experience and skills)
• They have a sense of collaboration – that everyone feels they are an important part of the bigger picture
• Effective teams have excellent communication skills – they are able to give and receive honest feedback
• There are opportunities for individual growth and continuous learning
• Encourage social interaction with the team members – a pub night out can go a long way to building deeper relationships (of course this is only if any drinking is kept to a minimum)
• There are opportunities for team members to express their creativity
• A sense of fair play needs to be present – that everyone has the same opportunities to advance and that everyone is treated equally
• Leaders need to provide ongoing feedback on what is working and not working, not just once a year during appraisal time

Acknowledgement for a job well done goes a long way to encourage employees and teams .  It is also important to acknowledge when someone takes initiative to make things better. This will encourage others to attempt new more efficient ways to do things.

Can Mental Practice Enhance Your Leadership Effectiveness? 

By Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

In the world of sports it is common to hear that a professional actually does mental practice in addition to actual practice to enhance their performance.  I was curious what some of the experts say about imagining yourself performing tasks like giving presentations or training, delivering a difficult message, conducting an interview or being interviewed or going on a sales call.  I know when I deliver both my sales and presentation skills programs I always recommend that people mentally rehearse their presentations.

According to Dr. Scott Williams, Department of Management, Raj Soin College of Business ,Wright State University, Dayton, Ohio leaders can most definitely improve their leadership effectiveness and master their managerial behaviours.

Research has shown that when someone does both mental and actual practice they achieve better results than by just actual practice alone.  This is not just in the world of sports.  I know personally I have used visualization for many years prior to any program or what I thought might be a difficult situation.  Often people who worry a lot about negative things happening to them don’t realize that they are actually contributing to the likelihood that what they don’t want to happen, will in fact happen.  That is what they mentally rehearsed. 

So how can you use this to enhance your leadership effectiveness?

By mentally rehearsing you experience more confidence as you will be more prepared.  We have all heard the saying “practice makes perfect,” actually that is not 100% true because if you are practicing incorrectly you will not achieve mastery in whatever you are trying to improve on .  With mental practice you are practicing perfectly and it can really increase your confidence even though it is imagined.  The assumption here is that you would already have a certain level of experience or skills for whatever it is you are working to improve upon. Mental practice is effective as a supplemental way to develop your skills and does not replace normal avenues for learning new skills.

Mental practice can also help reduce stress.  By taking the time to mentally rehearse you are giving yourself an edge that can support you to be at your very best.  Think about the areas where you can start to use this in your everyday activities:

• When giving difficult feedback
• When you have to give a very important presentation
• When you are working in areas that you are a little less confident
• Day to day visualize yourself handling everything that comes your way with ease and confidence
• To improve your ability to listen and communicate

The techniques we have been taught to mentally practice for sports can also be applied in business and all areas of your life.

What area are you going to mentally practice to enhance your leadership skills?

A few Tips to effectively create mental practice:

• Find a place where you will be uninterrupted
• Close your eyes, take a couple deep breaths, relax and mentally go through the steps to perform perfectly what it is you want to practice
• Pay attention to as many details as possible
• Actually create the practice in your mind exactly how you want it to go, notice how you feel, what you see, hear or smell (include as many of your 5 senses as possible)
• See yourself successfully completed
• Do this several times (up to seven is said to be most effective)
• Open your eyes, smile and go about your day with new confidence