Monthly Archives: December 2014

We’ve all seen people who simply refuse to give up on getting what they want. These people continue to persevere, even after taking a beating, and even against the worst of odds. To others, they may even seem foolish in their pursuits. People with less resilience may see these people as “not knowing when to quit”.

However, it is these people who reach the loftiest of goals and under the most impossible of odds. And, it is their resilience that helps them get there. The bigger the goal, the more resilience will help you. Bigger goals generally require a longer time to reach, and there are often more failures before success is reached. Here are three ways resilience helps in reaching long term and big goals.

1. Resilient people learn from their mistakes. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to learn how to do better next time is critical when reaching for high goals. The most dedicated and resilient people are likely to study their mistakes so that they improve with each new attempt to succeed.

2. Resilient people believe in themselves. One of the most important traits of resilient people is that they have confidence that they can reach the goals to which they aspire. It is this confidence that provides their resilience and that helps ensure that they will continue to move forward during challenges and obstacles.

3. Resilient people are ok with success taking time. Most people who reach lofty goals have a practical perspective on what is required to reach their goal. A musician who aspires to be a virtuoso doesn’t expect to reach this performance level in a few months. This perspective prevents becoming too impatient.

Resilience offers many benefits, particularly when the bar is set high. The greater your goals, the more a resilient attitude can help you ensure that you put in the time and effort that is really required for success.

In recent weeks, we’ve talked a lot about staying resilient when facing obstacles. This is a critical trait for anyone who wants to pursue greatness in any area of life. This week, however, I will focus on an important part of resilience that comes into play when times are good. That trait is gratefulness.

You may not immediately tie resilience and gratitude together. However, the two are definitely linked, as gratitude helps you to keep a humble attitude rather than becoming over confident when things are going well.

You might be wondering why confidence causes problems. After all, if you’ve worked hard to achieve your goals, you should be allowed to celebrate, shouldn’t you?

Of course celebration of achievement is important. However, remembering the hard work that got you there and being willing to do that work again is what keeps you there.

Gratitude and resilience during the good times involves, to an extent, never letting your guard down too much. When you’ve worked hard to realize your goals, it is critical not to allow it all to slip through your fingers because you take it for granted or get lazy.

There are some simple ways to maintain that attitude of gratitude now matter how well your business, or other pursuit, is going. Here are some suggestions.

• Keep mementos of the hard times. Maybe you’ll hold on to the first dollar you ever made, or you’ll keep the cheap suit you wore to every sales presentation in the early days. Choose something that is meaningful to you, but don’t forget to keep items that remind you of your roots prominently on display.

• Stay connected. As a business owner, it can be tempting to turn the day-to-day operations over to someone else once it is feasible to do so. Of course, it’s ok to take it easy a little as things become stable, but don’t forget how to run your own business.

• Pass it on. One of the best uses of the experience you’ve gained is passing it down to someone else. As you become successful, find the time to mentor someone else who is working hard to build the same sort of legacy. Not only will you be a help to them, but you’ll remember your own struggles and rewards.

Gratitude helps you maintain perspective on the world around you. Using it to keep you focused and connected during the good times is just as important as being resilient when times are hard.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve discussed how optimism contributes to resilience. We’ve looked, at length, at how those who have an optimistic attitude area able to be more resilient in the face of adversity, and who those who are optimistic have the ability to persevere in meeting the challenges of life and business. So, if you happen to be one of those people for whom optimism is learned rather than inherent, you might wonder how you can increase your level of optimism in your daily life. Here are some tips for increasing your optimism level on a daily basis.

1. Count your blessings. Optimistic people are “glass half full” people. If you tend to look at the negative in life rather than the positive, you will experience more unhappiness, less health, and you will be less likely to be able to withstand the challenges life throws at you. Take a look at all you have to be thankful for. A good job, challenges, and family and friends are all reasons to celebrate. The more you celebrate your blessings, the more you will be motivated to work toward even greater ones.

2. Reflect on past victories. Too often, we focus our attention on the things that didn’t turn out the way we planned. However, we are motivated to “beat our best” when we take just a moment to reflect on those moments that made us feel proud. Working toward something even better is always important. But, don’t forget the power that took you there. It is that power that will take you there again.

3. Breathe. Constantly moving toward greater victories is admirable. However, it can lead to burnout. Everyone needs a little rest and relaxation. Time away from your business and your goals provides balance and perspective. Both of these are necessary for looking at the big picture and contemplating the steps that will take you to the next level. Many times, a little time away from your goals provides just the remedy to help you focus more clearly when you return to work.

For some, optimism is a natural character trait. For the rest of us, it is learned through a conscious reflection on those things that make us grateful and keep us moving in the right direction. As you look at your goals, don’t forget to reflect on all you have achieved and all you have to be grateful for. It is those things that help you look toward an even brighter future.

Optimism is an important trait that benefits many aspects of your life. Optimistic people are happier, and even tend to live longer. While you may have realized that optimism is important, you may not have realized that being optimistic also helps make you more resilient. Here are some things to consider:

1. Optimistic people see the glass as half full. The optimistic person often sees the setback that might make a pessimistic person give up as a learning opportunity. The optimist keeps moving forward, realizing that she has “at least learned what not to do”. Optimists recognize that failure is part of the process.

2. Optimistic people can wait for the happy ending. Because the optimist inherently believes that all will work out for the best, he is better able to keep working toward delayed gratification than the person who doubts that success will come even eventually.

3. The optimist gets back up more easily. While we’re not trying to suggest that optimistic people never have bad days, it is clear that the optimist recovers from those bad days more quickly than the pessimist. This allows them to keep their momentum more easily.

Some people are inherently more optimistic than others. However, optimism is a trait that can be developed. Your optimism is sure to increase as you focus on the good things in your life rather than the bad ones, and as you learn to see failures as opportunities to improve your skills. At first, this will take some analysis on your part, particularly when it seems that an event or obstacle can’t possibly have a good side. Eventually, however, you will begin to see the positive in situations more easily. Over time, working toward a more optimistic attitude can make you happier, and increase your chances of reaching your most important goals.

Over the past weeks, I’ve talked a lot about the importance of resilience, particularly in terms of helping you to persevere in reaching goals. Over the next few weeks, I will focus more on how to build resilience, so that life’s curveballs don’t knock you down. We will examine the traits that help increase a person’s resilience.

The first trait that is key in resilience is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to emotions: both your own emotions and those of other people. Emotional intelligence is a key factor for success in many areas, because emotionally intelligent people are better able to relate to others.

Emotionally intelligent people are more resilient for three primary reasons. The first is that they are more in tune with their own emotions, including having the ability to understand when their emotions are running high and might be getting the better of them. These people clearly understand that their emotional reactions are often temporary, making them better able to sleep on a problem and approach with a fresh head the next day.

Emotionally intelligent people are also more in tune with the emotions of others. They are less likely to be devastated by someone who is overreacting, because they recognize the reaction for its real merit. Emotionally intelligent people don’t make rash decisions in the heat of the moment, and they don’t allow those around them to do so either. These people are able to say, “Let’s revisit this tomorrow”, to avoid making a poor decision.

Finally, emotionally intelligent people are often better at hiring the right people for the job. They recognize traits like loyalty, rational decision making ability and fairness in others, along with being able to assess another person’s intellect and concrete skills. Emotionally intelligent people are more likely to surround themselves with the right people to create success.

If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, ask yourself a few questions:

• How do I react to stressful situations? Am I cool headed or do I blow up?

• How do I react to other people? Do I judge before knowing the facts? Am I empathetic?

• Do I take responsibility for my actions? Am I comfortable with admitting fault and apologizing when I’ve wronged someone?

Once you answer these questions honestly, you may find some areas where you could increase your emotional intelligence by improving how you interact with others. As you become more emotionally aware, you may find that your new found awareness not only improves how you deal with others, but makes you more resilient in dealing with the issues you face in reaching your goals.