A cornerstone of emotional intelligence is the ability to have empathy for others. Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy is the ability to express sorrow and to relate to the distress of another. On the other hand, empathy is the ability to share and experience the feelings of another person from their perspective. It is not just the understanding; it is the deeper feeling and experience of the emotion.

In times like these, the pandemic has caused a range of challenges for people of all walks of life. Businesses have closed, people have lost jobs, and families have lost loved ones that they were not allowed to grieve in the traditional way. Stress is up, mental health issues are increasing, and all this is occurring in times where social interactions are still limited and human contact is very difficult for the majority of the population.

All of this has an impact on the workplace and the workforce. Leaders in companies, managers, and team members need to be encouraged to show empathy and to treat others with compassion.

Listening and Accepting

One way to show empathy is to let people share their experiences of a situation. Rather than jumping in to solve the problem or telling them how you handled the same thing, accepting their perspective is a sign of empathy.

When people are allowed to share how something is impacting them, they feel genuinely heard. It validates and recognizes their experience. This ability to listen and learn allows us to put ourselves in their shoes and in their experience.

From this deep level of understanding, we can show compassion. Compassion is the emotional reaction to empathy. It allows us to offer support and help from a place of understanding.

Offering support from a place of empathy and compassion provides a meaningful and relevant solution. In these times, people all have different needs in the workplace. A solution for one person is not a solution for another, and cookie-cutter types of support may not address the underlying issues.

Building empathy means getting rid of biases and pre-conceived notions about our understanding of others. Everyone is not experiencing the pandemic the same way, but we are all experiencing dramatic differences in our lives. Giving people the gift of listening, opening up to other perspectives, and working to create meaningful solutions is a true skill for leaders at all levels to develop now and in the future.

The Benefits of Meditation & Why You Can’t Afford Not to Try This Ancient Practice by Wendy Woods

This ancient practice, in addition to managing stress has many health benefits listed below.  You don’t need to become a Buddhist monk or move to India to start meditating.  You can start with as little as 5 minutes a few times a week and gradually increase your time.  There are also guided meditations to make your introduction an easy one since they only require that relax and listen.

Benefits:
* Meditation boosts the immune system (Stein, J. (2003) The Science of Meditation, TIME Magazine)

* Meditation controls high blood pressure at levels comparable to widely used prescription drugs and without the side effects of drugs (Hypertension, AMA Medical Journal)

* Meditators were able to reduce chronic pain by more than 50% even 4 years after completing an 8-week training course (Jon Kabat-Zinn, M.D. Stress Reduction Clinic,University of Massachusetts)

* Meditation may slow aging. A study found that people who had been meditating for more than five years were biologically 12 – 15 years younger than non-meditators (International Journal of Neuroscience, 1992)

* Meditation reduces the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome (State University of New York, 2001)

* Meditation offsets the sluggishness of sleep deprivation better than a nap (University of Kentucky)

* Meditation increases in empathy (University of Wisconsin, 2008)

We had such great feedback from our summer articles from our partners that I have decided to continue to feature various articles from my partners as well as my own submissions… enjoy

OVERCOMING TEAM TENSION

By Mark Ellwood

You’re working on a big project. Deadlines are approaching. Major work needs to be done. Numerous team members are involved. The goal is clear. At the beginning of the project, things go smoothly.

But then trouble sets in. It starts out as a minor difference of opinion between team members. Then, there’s a stall in progress. Heels are dug in. Positions become more firm. Arguments ensue and no one is happy. Nothing gets done. It’s a case of team tension.

People work on teams because collaboration allows productive activity to flourish. One person doesn’t have all the skills, resources, or knowledge to get everything done. So teams form to foster synergy. The theory is that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Individuals can make progress, whereas teams can make magic.

But difficulties can arise because not everyone sees a project the same way. Team members bring different experiences, training, and points of view to their work. Sometimes, these clash. The result is team tension.

Recognize the symptoms

You’ll experience team tension when you encounter the following symptoms:

• Team members repeat points over and over to each other, but no one seems to be adding any new information that hasn’t already been covered numerous times. Discussions become more heated. Arguments ensue.
• You suggest options that are routinely rejected.
• Individuals begin implementing one part of a decision they’ve made, without informing other team members. This is progress by stealth.
• You worry that there is an overwhelming issue no one has addressed, and that must be dealt with sooner or later. Perhaps you feel too intimidated to bring it up.
• Someone threatens to quit. This may not be an obvious threat – the hints may be subtle. For instance, you realize that people aren’t pulling their weight, and progress becomes slack. Or someone leaves a discussion, with no agreement or decision being made.
• Team members use documentation to cover themselves. They write down what they agreed to, or what you did, or what they expect. Documentation is a useful tool, but not when it masks unresolved differences.
• Someone appeals to a higher authority to resolve the dispute. Or they suggest a vote. But bosses don’t like to take sides, and voting creates winners and losers rather than consensus.

So, what are some practical ways to manage team tension? The first is to simply acknowledge that it exists. This can take some bravery. In the middle of a meeting, or in a one-on-one conversation, make a declaration: “We seem to be at an impasse here. I’m sensing some tension about our differences. I wonder if we could…” Then fill in the rest of the sentence with one of the suggestions below.

TAKE A BREAK

Allow the situation to rest for a while. Sleep on it. Go for a walk. Think it over during the weekend. Share your thoughts with colleagues outside the team. If there has been a long build-up to a disagreement, it may not get resolved quickly. Be patient.

INVOLVE A MEDIATOR

Consider asking an objective outsider to help resolve differences. When you do, be sure to present both sides thoroughly. Then, listen for what your advisor has to offer. Avoid saying, “Yeah, you’re right.” This often means you’ve heard what is being said, but you don’t really get it and you plan to do nothing. A trained mediator can also help, but only if both parties agree.

DECIDE ON WHAT REALLY COUNTS

Consider what you are really attached to. What are your motivations for pursuing a course of action? Perhaps what you think is of paramount importance is not really essential to the project. Focus on what makes a difference, and let the rest go. The consequences will probably be minimal.

LISTEN

Do you really understand the other person’s point of view? Practice active listening. This means hearing their comments in full, rather than composing your own response as they speak. Then, repeat back your understanding of what the other person said. Check with her to see if you got it right. Sometimes your empathy will encourage her to tell you more, uncovering additional clues about how to deal with her issues.

COMPROMISE

Offer to concede a point or meet in the middle. You’ll be surprised at how accommodating the other person can be when you “blink first.” Don’t think of it as backing down. Think of it as creating an opening towards a productive next step.

KEEP THE OJBECTIVE IN MIND.

In a meeting, remind everyone what the objective is. Ensure they all agree. Then help them visualize a picture of success. When people realize they are all working towards the same purpose, they become less entrenched in their own positions.

LIST WHAT YOU AGREE ON

This technique can work for two people or for a large group. List the subject at the top of a piece of paper. Then write down everything you agree on. Anyone in the discussion gets a veto – if they don’t agree on something, it doesn’t get written down. Listing a series of agreements focuses people’s attention on core values and common steps. And, when people discover items they agree on, a positive energy emerges that spurs further cooperation.

APOLOGIZE

Humility can go a long way to opening up conversations. Apologize for being bullish, getting upset, making accusations, or even for not understanding the objective properly. Then, use one of the other techniques to find a genuine path towards team commitment.

Remember that team tension is natural. If your team consists of a variety of strong individuals, disagreements will naturally occur. If they don’t, your team may have too many conformists who are unwilling to challenge the status quo. Strive to keep the differences minor, and not long-lasting. What you should hope for is a situation where team members say, “We often disagree with each other, but we can always go out for a beer afterwards.”

It isn’t easy admitting that team tension exists. By breaking the ice, you allow others to admit that there is tension. Only then can you move towards a better solution. Eventually, someone on the team will thank you for being so forthright.

And remember to keep the perspective of time in mind. Minor differences today will eventually form the histories, the stories, and the anecdotes that you will look back on as the team celebrates its successes.

One of the great things about running the Athena Alliance is the vast amount of knowledge and sharing.  For the summer months I thought I would like to share with you some of the great articles written by my Alliance Members.  Please enjoy the following article submitted by Wendy Woods:

Three Keys to Make 2011 a Great Work Year

Here are three tips guaranteed to increase your engagement and productivity.

Express Gratitude
Work is always filled with challenges so it’s easy to focus on what isn’t working or the endless frustrations.  Expressing gratitude is an easy and quick way to increase your engagement and productivity.  Whether it’s simply acknowledging your gratitude or expressing it to your coworkers, clients or suppliers, research shows that it has valuable benefits.

Specifically employees who express gratitude have greater personal satisfaction, adaptability, and energy. They also promote greater communication and cooperation within their organizations.

How can you express gratitude genuinely at work? (the key here is genuinely) Let your colleagues, boss or clients know when and how they have made your life easier. Also at the end of each day, acknowledge three things you are grateful for no matter how small.

Be Mindful
It’s hard to be focused on the present when there are so many pressures, deadlines, and distractions everyday.  A constant state of multitasking, 7/24 availability and busyness has become the norm.  The assumption is that this increases productivity resulting in greater professional and personal success.  According to the research, these attempts at greater efficiency have the opposite effect making it more difficult to learn, remember or be creative.

So what is mindfulness? The best definition is Jon Kabat Zinn’s “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”  It’s taking things back to basics.  Focusing on and working in the now instead of multiple things, thoughts or conversations at once.

How will mindfulness help you create a great year? The scientific research says it all.  Mindfulness improves areas of the brain responsible for decision making, emotional flexibility, and empathy as well as increasing attention, focus and emotional wellbeing.  It’s also been shown to improve health by lowering blood pressure, boosting the immune system and managing depression and anxiety.

How can you add mindfulness to an already jammed packed day? Start by taking 1 -2 minutes several times a day to focus on your breath.   Push everything else aside and simply breathe where your abdomen inflates when you inhale and deflates when you exhale. This will make you more mindful giving you greater concentration and appreciation of your work.

Laugh More
Laughing more at work, appropriately of course, is guaranteed to help make a great year. Why? First it is a fast stress buster.  According to William Fry of Stanford University, 20 seconds of hearty laughter is equivalent to 3 minutes of hard rowing. Second, laughter facilitates cooperation.  Researchers found that people are more helpful with those they share a laugh.  Finally, laughter increases creativity and innovation which are critical organizational skills.

How can you laugh more with your co-workers? Share cartoons, stories or even laugh at yourself (an easy and safe target).  As long as you are laughing together, never at anyone, then laughter is constructive and everyone benefits.