Training Your Inner Critic to Be More Resilient by Cindy Stradling CSP, CPC

Sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. We often set ourselves too many higher standards than those we create for others. As we work to become more resilient, we have to learn to tackle that internal critic, just as we tackle the external ones. Here are some things to focus on if you want to make best use of your internal critic.

1. Listen objectively. When you criticize yourself, are you using the same measurements you would for others, or do you criticize yourself much more harshly? You won’t build resilience by being overly critical. Rather, you will wear yourself down, just as you would wear down others by being too critical of them. Don’t ignore the things you need to change, but recognize that we all have things we need to change.

2. Learn and move on. Don’t dwell on mistakes and failures. If these have provided you an opportunity to grow and improve, then count them as lessons and move on to the next task.

3. Track your improvement over time. One way to keep your inner critic in check is to take a look at how your habits, skills and behaviors have changed over time. If you’re constantly improving, then the mistakes you’ve made have all been for good.

4. Start each day fresh. Don’t go into today harboring yesterday’s mistakes. See each morning as a new beginning. Focus on doing well today. This will not only make you more resilient and increase your chances of success, but it will increase your mood and demeanor with others, too.
5. Share. Use your mistakes and lessons to help others. This is the mark of a true leader. It also helps you to cope with your mistakes better because you can see your lessons teach others, too.

We all make mistakes, and many of us judge ourselves too harshly. When you attack your goals with realistic expectations, and a desire to learn from every experience, you’ll become more resilient and more successful,too.