The Messenger… Not the Message

 Communication starts with the ‘best’ intentions!

Our communication can create cooperation and camaraderie, or it can create confrontation and conflict. It can make our life at work and off work easy and pleasant, or it can make it unnecessarily difficult. The choice is ours.

One of the main causes of the break down of communication is the question of trust.

Good communication starts with the ‘best’ intentions.

•        Are you communicating to build a positive relationship, or to ‘put others in their place’?

•        Are you communicating to affirm, encourage and help others grow and succeed, or to put down, criticize, and conquer?

People will quickly uncover the intent of your communication as revealed by your attitude and communication style. Once suspicion about intent develops, trust will suffer, and communication will quickly deteriorate into confrontation and conflict.

When people believe that your intention is positive and affirmative, they will be OK with almost anything you say. They will welcome your suggestions, tolerate your mistakes, and honor your requests. They will trust you, the messenger, and therefore will be receptive to your message. But if they suspect your intention, they will lose faith in you, and will resist your message no matter how appealing and convincing you try to make it.

If you want people to listen to what you say, ask yourself:

•      Have I given them enough reasons to trust me?

•      Have I been consistent?

•      Do I do what I say and say what I do?

•      Do I walk my talk?

•      Do I communicate with their interest, not just mine, in mind?

•      Are my good intentions toward them clear and credible, and have been repeatedly proven by my action?

Before people can believe the message, they need to believe in the messenger.

Submitted by David Boyce, CSP