Listening For What Is Right by Cindy Stradling CSL, CPC
Listening is something we do every day, but how often do we really listen for what is right, rather than what is wrong? So often, conversations become about catching mistakes, finding flaws, or waiting for your turn to respond.
Fortunately, there is a different, more positive approach that is much more productive: listening for what is right. This means tuning in to understand, connect, and appreciate the positive in what someone is saying, even if their view is different from our own.
When you listen for what is right, you shift your focus from criticism to curiosity. Instead of looking for errors or points of disagreement, you start looking for values, strengths, and ideas you can affirm or build on.
This type of listening is not merely about being polite – it’s about creating trust and stronger relationships, both at work and at home. People feel valued when they know they are being heard for their contributions, not just their shortcomings.
Listening for what is right also helps one to see the bigger picture. Everyone brings their own experiences and perspectives to the table – and by listening closely we can learn something new, even from those we do not always agree with.
In this way, listening becomes an act of humility and respect to acknowledge that we do not always have the answers and that there’s often an opportunity to learn from others.
This approach is particularly useful in moments of conflict or disagreement. Instead of turning a conversation into a debate, try to understand what’s behind the other person’s words. What values or intentions are they expressing? What can you agree with or appreciate? Listening to others in this way can turn tense discussions into opportunities for connection and problem-solving, instead of arguments that lead nowhere.
Tips For Improving Your Listening Skills
If by now you are ready to start improving your listening skills, here are a few practical tips:
- Focus on understanding, not responding:Give your full attention to the speaker, and resist the urge to mentally prepare your reply. Try to see the situation from their point of view, even if you don’t agree.
- Acknowledge and affirm:When you hear something you agree with or appreciate, say so. Even a simple “That’s a good point” or “I hadn’t thought of it that way” can go a long way in building rapport.
- Ask open-ended questions:Invite the other person to share more about their perspective. This shows that you appreciate their input and are genuinely interested in what they have to say.
- Look for shared values:We often have more in common than most of us realize. Listening for what is right can help us to find common ground and start moving forward together.