Me First: Why Prioritizing Yourself Is Smart, Not Selfish by Cindy Stradling CSL, CPC
For many of us, the idea of putting ‘me first’ feels uncomfortable or wrong. We have been conditioned to believe that good people put others first and that self-sacrifice is noble. We are taught that taking care of ourselves should only happen after the needs of everyone else have been met.
The truth is that putting yourself first is actually very important. When you prioritize your own well-being, that does not mean you are turning your back on others. You are simply making sure that you have the energy, clarity, and capacity to show up for them. If you continue to try, burnout is inevitable.
‘Me first’ does not mean ‘me only’. It just means recognizing that your needs matter too and you have your limits. Your personal peace deserves to be acknowledged and protected.
Rewriting the Narrative
All too often, we wear exhaustion like a badge of honor. We equate busyness with worth and self-neglect with generosity. Constantly putting others ahead of yourself can lead to resentment, fatigue, and a loss of identity. When you never make space for your own needs, you begin to disappear from your own life.
Choosing ‘me first’ is an act of self-respect. It is the way you teach others that your time, energy, and boundaries are valuable. It sets the tone for healthier relationships that are built on respect instead of unspoken obligation.
Me First in Everyday Life
Putting yourself first does not require big dramatic changes. It starts with small, intentional choices:
- Saying no to commitments that drain you
- Taking breaks when your body or mind asks for rest
- Allowing yourself to feel and process emotions without guilt
- Making time for activities that nourish your soul
- Setting boundaries even when it is uncomfortable
These are not acts of selfishness. These are acts of stewardship. You are the only one who can truly take responsibility for your well-being. Doing so makes it possible for you to give from a place of overflow rather than a place of depletion.
Everyone Benefits When You Put Yourself First
When you treat yourself with compassion and care, you show up in the world as your best self. You are more patient, more present, and more aligned with your values. You are less reactive and more intentional. Those around you benefit from that grounded, whole version of you. Whether you are parenting, partnering, working, or caregiving, ‘me first’ strengthens your ability to support others.
Give Yourself Permission
If ‘me first’ still feels uncomfortable, start by giving yourself permission to matter, to take up space in this world, and to take care of yourself without apology. You do not exist to run yourself into the ground being nice or selfless. You deserve to live fully, thriving, and honoring your own humanity.
The next time that inner voice whispers that taking care of yourself is selfish, stop and take a deep breath to remember that putting yourself first is being wise and strong.